Mrs. Burns Lemon Basil
green and black thumbs welcome
I finished planting my planter garden this past weekend. Now I’m nervous that this will all fail in a month. But now I have to sit back and watch it go and hope for the best.
Every time I fill up my watering can (which is at least thrice), I think about how I wish Mom was here to tell me I’m not watering enough. And to tell me what to feed my flowers with. That’s a research problem for this coming weekend.
Dad went with me to go to a plant nursery on Memorial Day (he offered to go??!!?) and we both enjoyed each other’s company. We both remarked how Mom would’ve loved the place (Groovy Plants Ranch for my Ohio friends).
What has been interesting is the ways and places I’m still finding Mom (and sometimes Grandma) in what I’m doing. With Grandma, I found this type of basil called “Mrs. Burns Lemon Basil”. Grandma’s married name was Connie Burns. Grandma didn’t do the gardening in the family, but I’d like to think she would’ve enjoyed the flavor of this interesting herb.
As to seeing Mom in the world around me, I discovered that my niece Ava has Mom’s smile. I asked Mom’s sister, Julie and our Aunt Jan if they knew where Mom got that smile from, and it was apparently unique to Mom. The smile Ava and Mom share is this:
[I hate to mention it and not provide the full example, but to protect Ava’s privacy (because she is a child) I won’t post her photo. Just trust me on this, this closed mouth smirk lives on. I just hope Ava gets to use her smile a lot more than Mom did across her life span.]
Another point of Mom showing up is now at her church in Zanesville where they dedicated a bench in her honor, along with 2 other notable gentlemen that passed away recently in her church. I sound like a broken record but it’s almost weird to me to see her impact having been that large in her community, because she never wanted attention for what she did. When the dedication was being talked about, Mom and the other 2 people were referred to as saints. I don’t think she’d agree with that title. Me being me, I’ve been down a rabbit hole comprehending the gravity of that sentiment. a saint is defined as “virtuous, kind, or patient person”. I guess it works? Maybe that’s not nice, but I think my questioning calls back to just seeing her as my mom and thinking saintly people are perfect? I knew she wasn’t perfect, but she had significant impact on the world around her. Maybe Saint Peter didn’t like certain cashiers at the grocery store or swore when he was mad too? He for sure got mad in traffic when people were stupid.
The PTSD I’ve been experiencing the past year is faded a bit currently. I think through the work I’ve done with my therapist and the writing I’ve done in this blog has been the key to my success. But time along with the general progression of grief has been a contributing factor as well. I still have nightmares and strong imploding feelings from time to time along with other things I don’t want to get into, but I think in a few year’s time the PTSD will continue to fade, which is a blessing.
Many will notice how my fervor for writing this blog has slowed down. It’s not surprising given that I’m busier this time of year and as a result have less time to sit with my feelings. This creates a different dimension of grief management where it’s more like whack-a-mole. I manage in the moment, not just swinging indefinitely. Life lately is more defined in pictures rather than words. Trees are green, flowers have brilliant color, and I’m called back to probably the last good, happy times Mom had.
With my gardening, I’m attempting to grow a few different tomatoes. So today’s receipt is one I’ve recently discovered. I gotta say, I really recommend orange or citrusy tomatoes. I can snack on them, which is saying a lot for my picky eater-ness.
Sheet Pan Gnocchi with Tomatoes and Mozzarella
Ingredients:
1, 16oz package of gnocchi
1 pint of grape tomatoes
1 pint of orange tomatoes
1 package of mozzarella pearls
Olive oil—I have a bottle of garlic infused olive oil which I LOVE.
garlic powder, to taste
italian seasoning, to taste
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees fahrenheit & line a sheet pan with foil or parchment paper.
Clean and halve tomatoes, put in moxing bowl
Empty gnocchi into that same bowl
Pour 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil into the bowl to coat the tomatoes and gnocchi. Add garlic and italian seasoning as you see fit, but I probably add 1-2 teaspoons of each. Stir until well combined and coated.
Pour the mixture onto the aforementioned sheet pan, trying to get as little overlap as possible
Place in oven for 17-20 mins, until gnocchi is looking golden.
Pull pan out of the oven and distribute the mozzarella over the tomatoes and gnocchi. Place back into oven for 2-3 mins so the mozzarella can melt a bit
Remove from oven and enjoy!